When people end relationships, they often dive into the rebound. A haphazardous, unthinking, and often necessary experience to soothe some of the pain that comes with any ending. There are new routines, new people, and the adjustment to a new normal. A quick fling can provide at least temporary relief from some of the difficult and overwhelming emotions.
Since I’ve already defined myself as a relationship Athena, it’s probably not surprising that the thought of a messy, out-of-control rebound does not appeal to me. A few years ago, over a beer in a popular Wilmington, DE bar, a fellow single friend and I exchanged woes over our dating histories, and shared hatred over the idea of a rebound.
We didn’t need a messy rebound, we needed something chosen and controlled to erase the bad feelings of our prior relationships.
We needed, in essence, a sorbet course.
The sorbet course is a palette cleanser. A woman (or man!) can carefully choose a quick relationship to at least partially erase the slate. A delicious sorbet can cleanse those angry feelings from a past boyfriend or girlfriend, provide a bit of an escape or a few hours of fun. Most of all, it’s a reminder that there is more to come. A sorbet course prepares you for the future, for the next relationship, for the next experience.
In many respects, this blog has served as a “sorbet course” for me. I left a job that was the “wrong fit,” a town that never felt quite perfect, and a long-term relationship that had faded into misery. Two months gallavanting around Europe cleansed my palette from some of those lingering feelings and prepared me to throw myself into a new life, in a new town, with a new job. (Supported by wonderful old friends, of course!)
However, unlike a five-course dinner where the sorbet course arrives at the perfectly scheduled time, there is no clear schedule on feelings. Though I have lived a life with no regrets (for real!), and I certainly don’t regret any of the decisions I’ve made in the past six or so months–including leaving my job, my apartment, my relationship–I’m still grappling with some of the lingering feelings of everything that happened. Part of this struggle is because I inserted myself back into the situation (lesson learned on that one), but another part of it stems from never truly and honestly reflecting on my decisions.
So, stay tuned for the Sorbet Series, where you’ll hear my hopefully humorous and revealing thoughts on the past six months. I want this series to act as “sorbet” for me–a cathartic palette cleanser that leaves me ready to enjoy the next course.
*Names will be changed to protect the idiots. No worries.